To show just how easy it can be to start a conversation about abortion, in the course of jury duty on Thursday I was able to have three interactions referencing the LA Times article from that morning (about the shift Democrats are making toward an "antiabortion tone").
Here's how the first two interactions happened. Two prospective jurors were sitting behind me. Let's call them Jim and Dave. Dave was talking to Jim about global warming, expressing some skepticism. Jim was interested, but quiet. I offered a few comments and built some rapport with both men. Then Jim asked for my copy of the LA Times. I commented that there was a great article on abortion today, right there on the front page. I summarized the article briefly, and Dave blurts out that he is totally against abortion but his wife and daughter are pro-choice. Then he made a comment about "it's her body so what I can I say," referring to his wife. I intended to ask a question about this to challenge the notion, but we discussed another aspect for a moment, and then Dave got called to a jury. Sometimes environments like these should lead us to be a bit more efficient than I was...I'll never get the chance to help this man see the problem with the "it's her body" idea.
Jim then started asking me questions about how important abortion is to me, compared to the "war against Muslim terror." I clarified that I am equally concerned about any human being who is unjustly killed regardless of size or religion or location. It turned out that Jim was a long-time listener to STR's radio program (what a coincidence!), but he just thought the importance of the abortion issue was dwarfed by the importance of the war on terror.
At lunch, I went to Persian restaurant and sat outside at an open table. A man (who later said he was a gay Muslim), helped me navigate the menu. Let's call him Wallace. Wallace asked me some question, probably about what I was doing. I said I was on jury duty but that I was pretty sure I wouldn't get on a jury. Wallace asked, "Are you an attorney?". (Note how my statement created a bit of mystery and elicited this next question and interest in the conversation.)
I said no...that I am a speaker on bioethics...on abortion. He asked why I chose that line of work. I made a case similar to my "One-Minute Pro-Life Apologist" article. If the only sufficient ground for human rights is the thing we all have equally -- our human nature -- and if the unborn share that human nature (which they do), then we have to protect them the way we do adults.
He seemed to agree, but proceeded to talk about how intractable the conflict seems to be. I pulled out the Times article and pointed out the attempts to build common ground that were there (like Hillary Clinton's comment). I asked him if he wished there were fewer abortions...he said, "Of course!" as if "everybody believes that."
We continued to talk, and I even was able to bring out a Justice For All brochure (you need one of these - call 800-281-6426) and showed him a few in-utero pictures (he didn't want to see the graphic pictures, so I respected his wishes and didn't open those pages of the brochure. I mentioned that many students we talk to don't even realize a four-week embryo has a heartbeat and a seven-week embryo has arms and fingers...
In hopes of using his concern about gay rights as a lead-in to discuss whether he would grant the same rights to the unborn, I asked if he had felt treated well in his 27 years in the States. His answer surprised me. (Indeed, one of the most important reasons to build common ground is to listen long enough to prevent misunderstanding). He said he has been fine, and what frustrates him are homosexuals who create discrimination for themselves by making themselves conspicuous (his idea, not mine). Interesting discussion. I had to get back to jury duty and he wished me well. It seemed we parted on good terms.
There are many lessons here. First, starting conversations is not hard, if we are purposeful to do it. The fact that I posted a blog encouraging others, actually encouraged me to practice what I preach. So accountability, or bringing others into your decision to try to have conversations, helps.
Also, I learned that I should be purposeful about sharing the most important information or asking provocative questions early in the conversation, just in case the conversation has to end abruptly. Notice the difference between my conversations with Dave and Wallace. In the latter, I placed my case up front and got more accomplished.
Finally, the value of building common ground is obvious from these interactions. Because throughout the conversations I used common media products (newspaper article about Democratic politicians, photograph of an embryo) and common concerns (my profession, jury duty, politicians in the news, making abortion rare, treatment of homosexuals, human rights, global warming, etc.), the dialogue was civil and the participants engaged.