When I teach on homosexuality, I’m often asked about how a believer can bring up the topic of homosexuality with a friend or family member who identifies as gay or lesbian. I’m always puzzled by this question. It assumes we’re supposed to go through life and try to figure out non-believers’ sins and bring them up in conversation so they’ll consider stopping the prohibited behavior. But we can’t expect non-Christians to act like Christians. As my pastor often says, “Don’t put family rules on those outside the family.”
Our hope for homosexuals is not heterosexuality, but holiness. We’re not trying to make them straight, but lead them straight to Jesus. In almost every case where I’ve seen a man or woman with same-sex attraction abandon a life fulfilling homosexual desires, it was because they first committed their life to Christ. Then, with the Holy Spirit in their heart, they were transformed from the inside out and began to live obediently to the standard of Scripture.
That’s why my advice to believers is not to focus on behavior modification of non-Christians. That’s only a band aid. If you really want to say something about your convictions that is also relevant to them, tell them about Jesus Christ. Homosexuals, like any other non-Christian, need to hear the offer to be pardoned from their crimes against God. Only then can there be true healing.