Should He Tithe If It Will Hurt His Family?

Here’s a question I recently received:

Hi Brett, I have a theological dilemma that I need your advice on. A friend, who is married and has 3 young kids and a wife that isn’t working, has guilt about not being able to tithe.

I have tried all the usual tactics about being under the New Covenant and tithing isn’t required anymore, but that you should give as much as you can. Then he brought up the widow’s offering in Mark 12:41-44, saying that it is excellent in Jesus’ eyes to give to the point that it hurts. I think that’s a valid point. But then I think it’s also a valid argument that God expects him to take care of his family – right? If he takes away from his family to give alms, isn’t that also wrong?

My answer:

(1) It doesn’t seem Jesus’ point is that on a normative basis we should give until it hurts. Particularly given the immediate context, it seems like the larger point is a comparison between the outward righteousness of the religious authorities not being a true demonstration of love for God and what true love for God does actually look like. So I don’t think we’re obligated to take that passage as a command to give until it hurts, even though there is occasion to do so.

(2) Secondly, your friend is not in a parallel situation to the widow, who does not seem to have family to care for, so you cannot simply draw a direct comparison between the two. Your friend has a wife and kids, so he has to balance giving with his obligations to feed, clothe, and shelter them. The Bible does offer clear guidance on taking care of one’s family.

(3) Giving isn’t just about giving money. When one isn’t in a position to give monetarily, it doesn’t mean he or she has nothing to give. We can give of our time, our service, our current resources like a car, home, etc. So maybe during this season of financial struggle, giving to the Lord’s work looks different from just putting money in the offering plate. Maybe it’s taking a skill he has and offering it to someone else in need.

(4) Lastly, sometimes there is a time and place to give when it hurts. Maybe this is one of those times. But I think this has to be done in harmony with his wife so that they are of one mind. If she doesn’t agree, I would say don’t do it. And they must take into consideration whether or not giving puts their own family in jeopardy. If so, don’t do it.

Comments

[John Morgan]

What about David's statement in 2 Samuel 24:24, "Neither will I offer burnt offerings unto the LORD my God of that which doth cost me nothing."

[dave]

"Should He Tithe If It Will Hurt His Family?"

Only in love for others. “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)

[Makafui]

Also to address the second paragraph, tithing did not start under the law, it was instituted 430 years before the law was given, when it came under the law it took a different dimension but it is no longer under the law. since it started with Abraham and we are seeds of Abraham through faith In Jesus Christ we still have that institution functioning in our new life which brings uncommon blessings our way. Tithing is not a law thing but a God thing. If you do away with it you can't enjoy true prosperity Like Abraham did.

[Craig Giddens]

No one in the Bible was ever commanded to tithe except the Jew under the Law.

[Craig Giddens]

Is Abraham an example for teaching tithing is for the church?

Genesis 14
18. And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God.
19. And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:
20. And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all.

Abraham was not under the Law as it was not given until some 430 years after he lived (Galatians 3:17). Is Abraham’s act of tithing before the Law a reason to command tithing for the church which also is not under the Law? There’s no record that Abraham was commanded to tithe either by God or Melchizedek and he did not tithe of all that he had, but only of all of the spoils of the battle.

Hebrews 7
1. For this Melchisedec, king of Salem, priest of the most high God, who met Abraham returning from the slaughter of the kings, and blessed him;
2. To whom also Abraham gave a tenth part of all; first being by interpretation King of righteousness, and after that also King of Salem, which is, King of peace;
3. Without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life; but made like unto the Son of God; abideth a priest continually.
4. Now consider how great this man was, unto whom even the patriarch Abraham gave the tenth of the spoils.

Just because Abraham, not being under the Law tithed, is no reason to conclude that we in the church age, also not being under the Law, should tithe. While Abraham was not under the Law and was justified by faith he was not a part of the body of Christ so everything about his life can't be applied to the church age. He was in a different dispensation. He wasn’t born again, baptized into the body of Christ, a new creature in Christ Jesus, indwelt and sealed with the Holy Spirit, blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ ….etc. We must also ask ourselves why would Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles (Romans 11:13), twice use Abraham as an example of justification by faith (Romans 4 and Galatians 3), but when writing to the church about giving he never mentions Abraham’s tithing as an example for the church?

[JohnBrian]

The believing Jews in NT times would have been familiar with tithing, while the Gentiles believers would not have been. If tithing is a mandate for the church of both Jew and Gentile, we should expect to see some command in the NT to that effect.

There is none, even though giving is referenced quite often in the NT. Therefore tithing is not required of NT believers.

[Paul Spurlock]

While Abraham's giving of a tenth is descriptive, it is not prescriptive for us in the New Covenant. In general, all we're told is to love God, love our neighbor, and to "observe all that I commanded you" (Mt. 28:20), which we see post-Pentecost, included none of the Civil or Ceremonial laws. All Old Covenant Civil and Ceremonial Laws are obsolete (Heb. 8:13). Only moral obligations & commands remain in effect because they are supra-covenantal; it's clear that things like murder transcend particular covenants and thus have always been wrong, regardless of whether or not specific laws about such things like murder are included in any given covenant.

Great advice Brett. If this apologetics vocation doesn't work out for you in the end (doubtful!), your advice reveals that you'd make for a terrific pastor--you set the man free with truth & grace!

[kpolo]

Abraham's tithe is descriptive, not prescriptive.

Matt 23:23 [23] “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.

(Matthew 23:23 ESV)

Elsewhere Jesus says if your righteousness doesn't exceed those of the Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom.

Read in perspective of the NT, Jesus said the wretched Pharisees kept the tithe, yet that wasn't the weightier matter of the law. For the NT believer, I think the principle of 10% pre-tax is a great place to be in - it is significant enough to cause discomfort, force a lifestyle change and also keep you honest to your beliefs, yet not crippling.

Richer folks can definitely give more than 10%. If you are financially struggling, the LORD would have you give as the poor widow does with a joyful heart. The greatest lesson I learned about tithing is from a Pastor who said - always resolve to increase your giving before increasing your lifestyle. That will provide you with the road to tithing at all levels of income.

[GetReady]

Read a book called "The Good Money News - You can take it with you" will explain all these points noted above Grace and Law interaction) and then explores from a Hebrew Culture and Language point of view. Simple to read.

[Kenneth]

Tithes were given to the Levites, the ones chosen after the firstborn of Egypt was slain in order to free Israel from slavery; this is a shadow of Christians since Christ was slain for us and this has freed us from the slavery of sin and death.  The shadow shows us that the Levites were to be physically sustained by tithes and offerings that came from the land of promise. The reality is the sacrificial offering of Jesus, that has been given to us by God, is the only sacrificial gift that is capable of keeping us sustained and nourished. This sustenance and strength, we are given in Christ, results in our maturity.  The land of promise produced the goods that was to ensure the physical survival of the Levites.  The land of promise is a shadow of Jesus; Christ is the promise that the entire Old Testament pledged.  God promised a redeemer starting in Genesis and Jesus is the guarantee of God's promise.  Jesus is the authentic Promised Land of all Christians because in Him is produced everything we need for true and eternal life.